In a flat tone of voice, he said, “I’ve been raped twice in my life. The first time by a female and the second by a male.”“Oh! Shit!” Ed stared at John unable to imagine what it must have been like to be raped.“The thing about both times, they weren’t about the sex. There was a violence and utter lack of regard about how I felt about it.” John paused, “Now, you know how much I enjoy sex with women.”“Yes, I do.” Ed had seen John with Beth. There was no doubt that John enjoyed women.“Well, getting raped by a female didn’t interfere with my ability to get pleasure out of sex with a woman.”“I can see that. They are totally different things.” The topic of rape had always bothered Ed, in some fashion that was deeper than normal outrage, and he didn’t know why. Perhaps one day, he would have to sit down and explore his feelings on that subject. For now, he wanted to understand what John had to say about it.John turned the subject to the matter at hand. He stated, “Likewise, I don’t think. I never failed to have an erection when I awoke from the dream.As time passed the image began to change. It was no longer shades of purple. It passed through several tones of purple to yellow and red and after much time showed up one night in full lifelike color. The lady was even more beautiful. Her hair was blonde and there was more of it than I had ever seen on any one woman before. It fell nearly to her waist. Her eyes were blue and her lips a light shade of red. She seemed to have little or no makeup on. By this time I had been dreaming of the lady for two or three years. Though I was no longer a teenager, I still awoke with an erection. Oddly enough, even though very stimulated by this dream, I never had a wet dream about her.There was never any pattern to the dream. It came at irregular intervals. I might have it two nights in a row and then not have it again for weeks. It seemed that whenever I thought it was gone for good, it returned. And over time it continued to.
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